How to be poor all your life

How To Poor All Your Life

It’s pretty easy, just follow this formula.  First of all, don’t get married.  Try to have as much sex with as many partners as you can but don’t get too attached.  This way you will create offspring which you’ll be required to support however you can, and you’ll have very little help from the other person with whom you made these children because, after all, you never formed any sort of bond with that person.

Next, don’t bother with too much education.  If high school seems boring or takes up too much of your time, drop out.

Finally, don’t try to live on a paycheck from a steady job.  Sign up for food stamps (it’s actually a debit card, pretty cool), and try to get as much other welfare as you can get.  Look into Social Security disability.  These government programs will keep you going on some level, not a very high level, but you won’t starve and you’ll at least have some money for beer and drugs.  If you need more money turn a few tricks if you’re a girl, or look into some small time drug dealing if you’re a guy.

There you have it.  Follow this plan, and I guarantee you’ll be poor and wretched all your life.  As I once heard someone say, you will be “circling the drain.”

Don’t Want be Poor All Your Life?

OK, here’s the alternate plan:

Now that you know how to make yourself poor, you also know what to do, make that what not to do, if it is your desire is to never be poor.

Here is a simple formula to avoid being poor all your life:

  1. Graduate from high school;
  2. Don’t make a baby with someone you aren’t married to;
  3. Try to make it to age 21, age 22 even better, before you get married (for the fist time);
  4. Before you reach 21 get a job, any job, and support yourself with the paycheck you get form that job;
  5. Take a job you can get even if it’s not the job you really want. Do this because it will be easier to get the job you really want if you already have a job. Employers, all of them, prefer applicants with a work history. That makes the first job the hardest to get, that’s why you don’t want to turn it down while you continue to look for your dream job. Until you have some successful work history you are not a very attractive hire for an employer; and
  6. Should you go to college? That’s a deep subject. College costs money and take you out of the labor market while you’re in college. If you do go to college take the STEM courses, Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. Liberal arts, history, literature, etc.’ are necessary to make you an educated person. But they don’t lead to gainful employment so don’t sacrifice STEM for liberal arts. For Pete’s sake, don’t waste time and money on gender studies or any other of the worthless claptrap being offered in colleges these days. They are worthless not only from employment prospects but also for general life building. They don’t rely on IO, they will diminish your IQ. If you do think college is for you, DO NOT TAKE OUT A STUDENT LOAN TO PAY FOR IT. Student loan debt has condemned nearly an entire generation to a life of failure and poverty. Consider a student loan to be a poisonous snake with slow working venom that puts you into years of slow-burning misery before it kills you. If you don’t have rich parents and you want to go to college choose a college in the state you live in that has low tuition. Maintain a part-time job while in college. Use the money you earn to pay your tuition and support yourself. If you can get help from your family, take it. Living in your parents basement after age 18 is never a good thing, but while you are going to a local college it’s might make sense. Just be sure to move out as soon as you are able, and do everything you can to bring that day as soon as possible. For your part-time employment, either take night classes or a job that allows you to work nights.

Eschew all these things and you will likely be poor all your life. Heed them and you may not become rich, you may not even enjoy an upper middle class lifestyle, but you will have a chance at becoming rich or upper middle class. Even if not, you will be better off, much better off, than if you instead follow my first prescription on how to be and remain poor all you life.

Following the formula for being poor is the easiest course, but it’s also the one that will make your life a continuing chain of disappointment and failure.